When will you have kids?

By Just Ajda - 1.7.17

Danes bomo zašli rahlo bolj v osebne vode. Tema, ki mi že nekaj časa najeda živce in bi se o njej rada pogovorila z vami.
Stara sem 27 let in imam dalj časa trajajoče razmerje. Odnos med nama je super, imava svojo hišo in vsak svojo službo. Super, kajne? Vse razen dejstva, da zdaj že vsaj leto ali dve za vsak rojstni dan, novo leto in vsako drugo čestitanja vredno zadevo slišim besede:

"Upam, da bomo kmalu zibali."


We are going to get a little bit personal today. A topic that is geting on my nerves for quite a while now and I want to discuss it with all of you.
I am 27 years old in a happy, long-term relationship. Things are great between us, we have a house and both of us have a job. Great, right? Except for the past few years people have felt the need to congratulate us for our birthdays, New year, or any other congratulations-worthy event with the words:

"We hope we'll soon hear a cradle."

Trenutno imam kar nekaj prijateljev in prijateljic, ki pričakujejo dojenčka - pa ne me narobe razumet, neizmerno sem vesela za njih in resnično obožujem otročke - in marsikdo misli, da je njegova pravica me gledati postrani in komentirati o dejstvu, da pa jaz še nimam dojenčka, niti (še) nisem noseča.
Right now, there's a whole bunch of my friends with babies on the way - don't get me wrong, I am super happy for them and I adore babies - and it seems everyone thinks they have a right to look at me and comment about me not having a baby yet. 

ZAKAJ ljudje mislijo, da je v redu se vtikovati v življenje nekoga drugega in postavljati osebna vprašanja o NJIHOVEM ŽIVLJENJU in telesu? Ne samo, da je nadležno vsakič znova poslušati eno in isto, je tudi malenkost nesramno, da ne omenjam nespoštljivo.
WHY do people think it's okay to push into somebody's life and ask personal questions about THEIR LIFE decisions and body? It's not only annoying to hear the same thing over and over again, but it is also a bit rude and not to mention disrespectful.

Najprej razčistimo eno:
JA, hočem otroka (ali več, kdo ve).
Let me get something straight:
YES, I want a baby (or more, who knows).

Ampak imela jih bom, ko bom jaz (in moj partner) odločila, da je čas za to, ko bova pripravljena in to je to! Konec koncev je to moje življenje in, bodimo iskreni, imeti dojenčka absolutno spremeni način življenja. Ne imeti otroka takrat, ko ga imajo vsi pa zagotovo ni slaba stvar!
But I will have them when I (and my partner) will feel it's a good time and we'll decide we are ready, we want a baby and that's that! It is, in the end, our life and it will, let's be honest, affect the way we are living. Not having a baby when everyone else does isn't a bad thing!

Po drugi strani pa zadeva na katero NIHČE ne pomisli - kaj pa če oseba, ki jo tako vztrajno sprašujejo okrog dojenčkov le-teh NE MORE imeti? In vsako vprašanje, opazka ali zgolj komentar zadane globlje in bolj boleče kot si kdorkoli misli?
On the other hand, a thing NOBODY ever thinks about - what if a person you so persistently ask about babies all the time CANNOT have babies? And every question, remark or just a comment you make, wounds more deeply than you imagined?

Zdi se mi, da ljudje dandanes mislijo, da je imeti otroka pogojeno s starostjo, kar pa po mojem mnenju sploh ne drži.
Imeti otroka bi mogla biti zavestna odločitev, ko se oba partnerja počutita pripravljena na to, ko imata prostor in sredstva zanj in najpomembneje - KO SE SAMA ODLOČITA - brez pritiskov okolice.
I feel like people nowadays think having babies is an age apropriate thing, which is, in my opinion, not.
To have a baby should be a conscious decision, when BOTH partners are ready, when they have some place to have the baby and most important - WHEN THEY DECIDE TOO - without presure!

Ste imeli kdaj občutek, da vas ljudje okoli vas potiskajo v nekaj, kar bi mogla biti popolnoma vaša lastna odločitev, ampak oni tega ne razumejo?
 Have you ever felt that people around you are pressuring into something that is entirely your decision, but they don't seem to get it? 

Če ste zdržali do sem, hvala, mogla sem spravit to iz sebe!
Thank you if you read my rant this far, I just had to get it out of my system!

Xoxo,
A.

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1 komentarji

  1. When someone asks you again in the future just give the the link to this post.:D Joke to the side...I totally agree with you. People are so reckless when it comes to questions like this. It's so bizarre when people don't dare to comment about your new hair/makeup/outfit but they go so personal with such issues as having kids. I could go on and on about how wrong this is but let's just say - I feel you and agree with you!��

    OdgovoriIzbriši

Each and every comment is appreciated and read =) Spam links will be deleted.
Xoxo, A.

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